Boundaries & Resentment

F​eelings of resentment often point us directly at where we have compromised on our personal boundaries. Resentment poisons our spirit if left unexplored, but if we give those feelings our attention they can tell us what is missing in our life and where we need to become clear on what is a "NO" and what is a "YES" for us.  Why do we say yes when we mean no?  When we say yes when we really mean no and NO is actually what is true to our body we create a disconnect with ourselves and we create a rift in our ability to trust in our own self.

Allowing others to cross our boundary is often completely within our ability to stop, but it takes practice and confidence to create healthy boundaries ESPECIALLY IF YOU WERE RAISED WITHOUT GOOD ROLE MODELS.  A case in point for women is that women in our culture say "I'm sorry" constantly.  Women apologize when they show emotion, they apologize if they lightly and accidentally brush against someone, they apologize if they open a door too fast and there's someone coming in at the same time.  What are we apologizing for....our mere existence?  It's a really enlightening practice (if this rings true for you at all) to practice not saying "I'm sorry" unless you actually are sorry for something.  

Not being able to align our yes or real no with our body-knowing results in resentment and unattended resentment creates on-going and chronic stress.  The snowball effect is burn-out and often chronic disease or less than optimal health.  

Getting in touch with our own body creates a situation when we know what is a no and what is a yes...we take a risk, we trust ourselves and our life begins to shift.  Gaining confidence in our yes allows change to unfold naturally and without so much effort.  Now that sounds better than living in resentment to me!  It takes courage to live our YES...and it's worth our time and energy to go there every minute of every day.